Izetta Ep 5: You are not making this easy for me!


Episode 5:

When Spot (or is it Petey?) is captured by the evil dog-catcher, Spanky, Alfalfa and the gang put on a play to raise money to bail their dog out of the pound. Can they pull it off before the loveable pooch faces the doggy gas chamber?



Shuumatsu no Izetta is not making it easy for me. I really wanted to like this thing but my interest is slipping. The plot is wonky; compared to a battle-fanboy exercise like Full Metal Panic or even Gate: Jieitai… we have Izetta riding her gun, explosions  and then …. Stuff. Then they do some other stuff. Or something. At least Izetta has learned to make the big sharp things go fast enough to nail panzer tanks.



At one point over the weekend, I contemplated assembling a sequence of screencaps that would demonstrate how much Izetta‘s plotting owed to the ancient ALLYOURBASE internet video meme. The battle sequences in Ep3 also cried out for an AMV to the tune of Harry Belafonte’s Shake Senora.

(She come down in slow motion…)

The entire PR/ Ghost Army/ Joan of Arc Witch/ disinformation/ deterrence brainwave is a massive fail. A play to bail the pooch out of the pound.

Worse; If I wanted to start grinding on my particular limited patch of  “gender theory” (why the straight boys and girls cheer on the faux-gay) there ain’t a lot of that here either. Yeah sure; yuri-esque pics in the ending credits, some skinship and fanservice and an off-the-shelf “they were BFF’s when kids, then separated.” Yawn. About as interesting as scanning a Twitter search for the show and finding comments that announce “It’s got gay, I’m watching it“.

So there ain’t enough interesting stuff on the battlefield and there ain’t enough yuri. Sure, two young women can just be friends too but they ain’t very good at doing that either.

Worse; 5 episodes into a cours of 13, there is no way in heck that Elystadt can end alt-WWII in time to save the day. So it is either “Our Battle Continues” or the US of Atlanta as well as the the democratic, non-colonialist, slightly liberal-left parliamentary monarchy of Alt-Nihon are both up to their fannies in hidden strike witches who are going to ride in (like Valkyries) to save the day and impose World Peace.

New Yuri World Witch Order. (I insist on cute witch hats too)

Which wouldn’t be too bad a way to fix this slow motion mess.

Right now Izetta is slowly drowning in a vat of vanilla and treacle.

Time to GO FREAK or GO HOME.

Izetta Map mod found on Twitter, Google image search sez Pumpkinspicedeep (@captainjuggy)

Izetta Ep4 — fanservice

Episode 4:

The King Arch-Duke is dead. Princess (Arch-Duchess even if her subjects call her “hime”) Fine is now the ruler of Elystadt. Izetta gets a bath after waking up in the palace. She also gets beaned by some falling statuary and this is used to reveal her “kryptonite”: Ley Lines. (somewhat like the Japanese Power Spot fixation, an old chestnut in magikal fictions — Charles Stross loves ’em)


Some places have mana, some don’t. The capital of Elystadt is a dry hole, the ancient capital is overflowing with go juice. Avoid spells that spin a copper disc to hypersonic speeds while drawing magic to both spin and hold the disk together. Fear glass daggers.

Izetta, naif that she is, immediately spills all this to Fine’s war cabinet. Acknowledging that Izetta is a powerful force for Elystadt is no problem. Trying to figure out how to use her IS. Instead of turning her into a top-secret kinetic energy weapon the majority of those present are seized by the brain wave of turning her into Joan of Arc. Bad precedents aside, this gives the suspicious spy-dude a chance to introduce a further dodgy character, one who will incidentally crank the fan-service up to 11.


Then there is Fine’s personal bifauxen bodyguard. So far her job seems to be scowling at Izetta, driving her around and wearing a Taka otokoyaku costume.


“Do you weigh more than a duck?”

Once she hears that Fine saved Izetta when they were young, all her suspicions vanish and she almost puts the royal limo in a ditch, so overwhelmed is she with emotion. Let’s hope that the Princess Arch-Duchess Hime has a ninja combat butler somewhere nearby; so far her bodyguard needs work. Once the secret chamber in the old capitol’s castle is found and the Ley Lines map revealed, Izetta gets dressed up in a new boobage-displaying, thigh-flashing White Witch Returns ™ costume and gets to have a sweet hand-holding moment with Fine (who sports a far more serious royal costume) Some fans have noted that it resembles a wedding scene.



Meanwhile the big press conference looms.

Where to start?

The easy stuff first: Interesting that both Germania and Elystadt are variations on absolute monarchies. For a big-bad Hitler substitute, the Germanian Emperor is understandable. The absence of an Elystadt Prime Minister (maybe it’s that other old guy at the table?), diplomatic corps and/or sundry other government types in the war room is curious. No wonder the Elystadt troops are getting slaughtered. One doddering old dude runs the entire military, along with one spy and a few hangers-on. In contrast to all the military gear drag that the show has been flashing, the lack of Elystadt Command and Control, let alone governance is shocking. At least the Germanians had the stock “Longest Day” useless general staff milling around and making champagne bets and an absolute (-ly) despotic Imperial court.

Elystadt’s power structure would fail a family auto repair business. For a country it is laughable.

Next problem: fanservice.

Perhaps anime has already reached peak fanservice without anyone noticing it. On one hand, the fans, presumed to be fan-boys, are presumed to demand shower/ bath scenes, cleavage, butts and revealing costumes. The aftermarket for otaku trinkets howls for flashy magical-young-woman White Witch Returns ™ costume clad heroic action figures. More curious is the need to dress Izetta in a decolletage revealing short skirt with odd sandals within the castle. Her earlier hospital gown was a forgivable stretch, made up for by her later borrowed boy-shorts, army boots and uniform top. She was both fierce and fetching as she hurled tanks about. Does the animation studio not trust its material? Twitter Campaign: “Give Izetta warm clothing!”

Watching a video clip of Izetta flying formation with lances and destroying stukas (work on getting that twitter vid clip uploaded) complete with heroic chorale accompaniment brought to mind an older martial anime moment; the “Mighty X” instant in the preview teaser (episode 0) for Full Metal Panic The Second Raid. Don’t tell me that Sergeant Major/ Second Lieutenant Melissa Mao ain’t hawt as all heck because she is dressed to match her power and competence. Sure you can later slip her into a slinky evening gown, but only if you have a good reason. (Even so, one instance of evening dress was enough to forever fixate Kurtz Webber) You wouldn’t put Melissa Mao in a schoolgirl outfit when she is leading a strike team from her M9A Gernsbeck.

Or maybe you would have to, in 2016?

Final problem: yuri-ish shoujo-ai-ish forced innocence:

Magical Girl Anne of Green Gables slaughters invading Nazis to save her childhood friend” is an intriguing premise for an anime. You can do a lot with soulful friendship between two young women, even if you make both characters nearly asexual and drop in plenty of carnage. Qualia The Purple (Murasaki-iro no Qualia) comes to mind; Gaku, given one small stupid power by a clumsy keter-class godling proceeds to work it across multiverses in a heartbreaking descent into homicidal monomania; all to save her cursed friend.qualia-always-wanted-to-be-magical-14-9-web

Once you start killing enemies, future enemies and potential enemies are a small step. qualia-mada-it-hurt-14-9-web

Gaku, in Child-homicidal-vengeance-magical-girl mode


Izetta is still charmingly naif, even as her kill count, per some /a/nons is over 50  by the end of the third episode. War is hell. Can you drop a soulful Class-S friendship between two young women into a blitzkrieg and have it walk out all fluffy and sparkling? Izetta wants to try, as long as possible. The show goes to absurd lengths to keep the happy couple innocent and “pure”. Izetta was a persecuted nomadic outcast. Fine as an alt-european aristo was raised to consider marriage and reproduction as acts of political economy. Neither would have much time or place in their hearts for conventional romantic mush.

Keeping this in mind, we can better situate (even if we don’t completely excuse) the ridiculous fanservice outbreaks in episode 4. Enter the very grope-y and at least polymorphously perverse alt-Amurrican tutor to Arch-Duchess Fine: Elvira Friedman.

OH SNAP! Pull the other one, it has bells on it and makes a pretty sound.

Oooh, Oooh!

Notice me Sempai!

Very funny. This will go a long way towards trolling/ committing a shout-out towards a certain senior activist blogger on all things yuri in Contemporary Japanese (and some western) Visual Culture (also; occasional web-marketing consultant) who will either consign Izetta to the “won’t ever watch this annoying shyte” pile or wade in and rip it apart to find out what, if anything works. Perhaps she will merely note it with amused tolerance. Stand by for a real-world master-class lesson in how to respond to commercial trolling.

And yes, a favourable review on a certain blog wouldn’t hurt Crunchyroll subscription numbers one bit.

Sapphic subtext aside, Ms. Friedman makes her appearance not only to highlight the possibility same-sex interest among young women but to serve as an obvious, worldly and slightly louche contrast between jaded, experienced desire and Izetta and Fine’s “innocence”. Also as chief costume designer and press flack, the odd impracticalities of Izetta’s new White Witch Returns ™ costume can also be laid at her doorstep.

And yeah, it is quite obvious that her and spy-dude are in league. I will howl Fire the Writers! if he is a Germanian mole, but he, and Elvira have to be sleeper agents for SOME other major intelligence agency. 


I still think dropping cathedrals accelerated to mach8 on alt-Berlin is a sounder option than a PR blitz. And Izetta was attractive ’nuff in fatigues and shorts.

The studio needs more faith in their product.

Fanfiction survey secrets revealed !!!

“More than 7,500 fanfiction readers filled out the Fansplaining Fic Preferences Survey. What can we learn from the results?”


Cheesy title aside, the folks at Fansplaining gathered a lot of interesting data from Western fanfic aficionados.

Their article on the results, on Medium:

Five Tropes Fanfic Readers Love (And One They Hate)

Discussion on Tumblr:

The only cavil I had with the survey was that it had some in-fandom terms that I had Noooooooooo idea about. So, that “Gen” thing in the above graph concerns “friendship only” fic. or does it?

Gen is a label for a fanwork that contains no romantic or sexual content, either het (heterosexual) or slash (homosexual). The term comes from “general audiences”, the MPAA term for a child-safe film. — Gen –  https://fanlore.org/wiki/Gen

Ok, I learned sumthin’. Then there is the sex-werewolf thang. Nawww, read above if you really need any of that. 

Izetta Ep3 — rampage

IZETTA SMASH !!!izetta3-hulk-smash

Spoiler lamp is ON

TLDR summary:

Yes, the puny Elystadt army is overwhelmed, yes, they are cannon fodder before the planes, bombs and tanks of the alt-Wehrmacht. Watch them die tragically, heroically.


Awwwww crap this is going on much too long.izetta-ch3-lose-lives-buy-time

Yes, 16 minutes and 16 seconds of episode time, if you want to be picky about it.
Wait, what’s that?
…Up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane… izetta3-up-in-sky

Finally roused to action, Izetta skewers the alt-Luftwaffe and then descends to the battlefield to throw tanks around like the Hulk. The Princess is happy Izetta didn’t bug off. The enemy is vanquished! The troops cheer! izetta3-troops-cheer

No pantsu shots. Must learn to accelerate antique swords to mach 6 lest they just bounce off tanks izetta3-tank-bounce

Pacing in episode 3 seemed off, at least in comparison to the adventurous clip of the first and first half of the second episodes. I suspect that the grinding on the battlefield situation was a nod towards the military fans.

The defending Elystadt troop seemed decked out in WWI vintage French and Belgian -ish kit.

The over-confident alt-nazi general staff were right out of central casting. It would be interesting if in later episodes princess Fine takes a more active role in the defense of the realm, rather than simply standing as as figurehead to rally the troops, who mop up after Izetta hurls tanks around and shatters enemy planes. The one Elystadt general that we have seen came across as a doddering blowhard. A Princess with the tactical imagination of a field marshal would be a great compliment to a super-powered magical girl.

The story also requires some Izetta-kryptonite and spy vs spy skullduggery, if only to put a few more characters (seen in the PV) into play. Meanwhile


Look at the powerful duo.
Lets just hope the pace picks up.

Izetta Ep2 — backstories

Spoiler lamp is ON


TLDR summary:

Izetta and Princess Fine met and were friends for a brief time when they were young. The Princess saved her from a peasant mob and suffered a nasty wound to her side in the process. There are limits to Izetta’s powers and she was raised to hide them. The alt-nazis killed her family when they captured her; she will kill to defend herself. The alt-nazis have a foothold in Elystadt; Izetta managed to carry the wounded Princess to the relative safety of a retreating column of Elsystadt troops. Izetta pleads to stay by Fine’s side even as Fine tries to convince her to flee to safety. Meanwhile the alt-gestapo agents from the train resolve to hunt Izetta down. The story so far is a class-S young women’s fast friendship mixed in with a (quasi) WWII battlefield adventure.

Episode two of Izetta etc gives us the quick alt-nazi war footage by way of introduction and then jumps to some cheesecake in the opening credits. When the music fades we are back in mid-air with the Princess in
Izetta’s arms, just as we left them at the end of the first episode. The pacing is brisk and after a brief “whoa how do you fly this thing” near-miss with mountains, our two heroes find themselves chased by alt-luftwaffe fighter planes. Here Izetta shows that besides touching an object to control it, she can also splatter her blood on objects and exert powerful magic at a distance. Enemy planes fall to her ice shards after she lures them into chasing her close to the snowy ground. The Princess gets the last plane with a single shot from the anti-material rifle that they are riding. After they land safely Izetta caries the weakened Princess until they meet up with a column of retreating Elystadt troops. After some field first aid, the party holes up in a ruined mansion and the princess hears of how bad the war is going.

Episode 2 is relatively short on fan-service as the story begins to edge towards an adventurous tale of friendship between two young women facing an implacable foe; almost the stuff of traditional shonen fare. Only the opening credits drop in some odly out-of-place fan-service, along with plenty of tanks and guns. Izetta is a courageous red-headed young girl; the nod to “Red Haired Anne” [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/terry-dawes/anne-of-green-gables-japan_b_4899252.html] the western tale that showed that young women could have fast friendships without suffering terrible retribution (a la Flower Tales) from the fates, is obvious. Houston, we have a Class-S [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Class_S_(genre)] adventure; think “bromance” with young women (which has to be one of the more convoluted ways of describing the effect, but if it works, roll with it…) See as well: http://okazu.yuricon.com/category/history-of-yuri/page/3/


More of Akagi no Anne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN8yqsNCG-A


As the episode ends, the alt-wehrmacht is advancing through Elystadt and the Princess has ordered Izetta to flee.

Genshiken ch120 extra – the second raid

Something like the missing 18 minutes of tape.


(Wow, that dates me!)

She who…graciously offered me a summary of the two 4-koma strips that were included as volume extras for V20. I had been very very very curious as to what Madarame and Hato-as-chan talked about when Mada dragged Hato off for a longer conversation at the temple.

It looks at first like more of the same. Dismissing it as such would be a mistake.

Right panel: Mada asks Hato about how a seme x uke pairing is established. Physical attributes? Hato starts to fan out as to how a seme can also be a wimp who lacks confidence, a uke can be assertive, that emotional traits add variation to pairings.

Left panel: Mada confused, blurts out a question to Hato: Why the ??? do you like BL? What most drew you to it? Hato replies that the most important aspect of BL-ish m:m romance, for him/her is “absolute trust“. This leaves Mada flustered..


Hmmm again.

Normally these volume extras are supposed to be funny. Discussing the intricacies of rotten pairing conventions might carry a whiff of nervous discomfort hah hahs for the uninitiated but this hardly makes the effort worthwhile. As for the “absolute trust” thing, it sounds like some of the stock disclaimers that BDSM enthusiasts toss off when defending their hobby. While not unheard of in the literature surrounding yaoi, BL and fujoshi lore, it is not high on the list of usual talking points.

Hmmm a third time.

Have a bonus panel. The Ch 120 cliff-hanger as a caption contest!

120 clean caption contest web.jpg

I promise to work more of this in to one or more of the Genshiken Nidaime wrap-up posts that I have been alternately grinding on and avoiding for the last few months.

In the meantime, Izetta ep 2 was Way Kewl!

I am brave and I am pious

Izetta: The Last Witch/  Shumatsu no Izetta / Izetta, Die Letzte Hexe
Now streaming on Crunchyroll Premium
(as well as all the usual dodgy anime sites)


The drawbacks to spending too much time hanging out on social media are well known, but the occasional benefits should also be noted. Like running into a fan-storm of anticipation when a kewl new thing is set to break — especially when the property lives up to the hype.

Izetta is way kewl. Astro Nerd Boy has an excellent summary of Ep1 (some spoilers) and appreciation up on his site [http://anime.astronerdboy.com/2016/10/izetta-the-last-witch-01.html ] and notes how, unlike many current properties in contemporary Japanese animation, Izetta is not a derivative product adapted from a manga, a light novel or a game; part of a media mix strategy to sell a crap-load of otaku crap to otaku. Just wait a few weeks. I have a feeling that it will become one of those rare efforts, where an original story anime serves as the anchor to a product flood. It is that good.

a tomboy princess steals a lesbian magical girl from the nazis #izetta
–Twitter: “muro ‏@kisomuro Oct 1

Well, not-quite nazis…

Princess Fine (Fi-ne) of the Principality of Elystadt is in a desperate situation. It is 1940  in alternate-universe Europe and even though Germania missed its Trump moment, it still has an Emperor (maybe they didn’t miss it and the deranged art school dropout crowned himself?), a very large mechanized military and a really vicious case of lebensraum. So much for IATT bulletin 1147.

The story team’s decision to scrap some of the usual nazi drag, while retaining all the 1940’s military tech and germanic ambience recalls Sergei Eisenstein’s Alexander Nevsky and it’s “Teutonic Knights”

Note the gold-plated Lugers the alt-gestapo operatives carry.
Very Teutonic Knight.

The inscription, favoured by the British SAS is an odd choice. The German motto on the flag of Elystadt is a better touch:

“ich bin tapfer und bin fromm”

Elystadt is also ethnic-Germanian-ic (it seems to be coincident with western Austria, through to Liechtenstein, the latter of which also has a two-color horizontal barred flag) and is full of deep-wooded magical germanian-ic forests. His Germanian Emperor-ness wants their occult mana as well as Elystat’s precision machinists. His agents have already captured and sealed up a young red-haired witch in a very steam-punk-ish containment pod (reminiscent of Branagh’s Frankenstein). Princess Fine, while on the run from Germanian agents had previously bumped into it. Her second encounter, captured, on a cargo plane and menaced by rape-y alt-nazis is enough to wake Izetta, unseal the pod and blast the back end off the plane. In a Ghibli-esque moment, the princess and the woken young witch plummet through the debris-filled air.

…Along with a handy-dandy honkin big anti-material rifle. Hmmmmmm… A distinct lack of broomsticks, Hmmmmm… Damn! This thingy has cold metal in uncomfortable spots. Oh shit right:

Princess Get!

It seems the princess, or perhaps some long past ancestor who looked just like her, once saved the young witch (or some long past ancestor who looked just like her) from the usual angry peasant mob.

Twitter explains this trope quite succinctly:
“You swerve to avoid a squirrel. Unknown to you, the squirrel pledges a life debt to you. In your darkest hour, the squirrel arrives.” –Twitter (var.)

Just in case it hasn’t snuck up and beaned you on the head yet, Izetta is built with a good helping light yuri subtext. The character notes, per ANN, give us:

“If I am promised to the princess, then I will fight for her sake.”

Once again the Twitter commentary is pithy:

Sometimes, I think people float in the air with sparkles secretly hoping they’ll eventually be seen. #izetta” –Elel ‏@HolyAjora

Other Twitter-ratti have noted Izetta’s Raiders of the Lost Ark vibe. As well, the fan-service, though light so far, is just enough for class-s soulful girl-friendship yuri; too much grope-y skinship would necessitate a boy hero main character’s embarrassed gaze. As well as a mob of beer-serving, dirndl-clad, cleavage-displaying moe-blobs. What we might fail to notice in all this is how our Princess has just acquired her own cute and very devoted kinetic energy weapon. Izetta can control and direct anything she touches; she is a magical-girl railgun. It might take her a while to level up from sending swarms of jousting lances into Stukas and Messerschmitts to something more logistically practical:

Wonder if she can do one-meter iron rods at mach 6? † 

Some limits are going to have to be imposed on Izetta’s powers lest the war conclude in Episode 2 with a rain of hypersonic gothic cathedrals dropped from low orbit on alt-Berlin.

Personally, I feel that while a measured response against a mechanised alt-nazi empire’s war machine might be heroically romantic, it is a poor strategy. Kill it with fire! Similarly, if magic sparkly forest sprites stall out the baddies’ plane and drop a gold luger into your hands, best to start shooting alt-nazis while you can. Without hesitation. Most European royalty were trained from childhood how to so react. It was a tough neighbourhood.

Sadly, turning Izetta into a psycho lesbian magical-girl WMD would lose the chance to recycle a shit-tonne of WWII movie and anime battle-girl tropes. That also means that Princess Fine cannot be too bloodthirsty. Resolute, heroic but not cold-blooded. The challenge to the story team is one of restraint; You could really stuff this thing to the rafters with every last toy in the prop room. They must also take care to avoid the shonen-ish ever-escalating destroy-everything magical battles of doom treadmill: that gets stale fast.

I give you this on my word of honour. You are now free of the need to watch D-Gray-man: Hallow. K-rist! What a stinkerI think the idea was to turn the boy lead into some kind of fujoshi pain-fetish-toy; he keeps getting battered about and losing limbs. Otherwise it is endless new characters with ever-levelled up powers, poignantly tragic flashie-backs, angry brooding glances from dude #2 and random magical battle destruction. It also suffers from story discontinuity, cardboard characters, secret occult factional intrigue and a bad case of woobie. I had no idea they still made anime this bad.

Did I mention Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards?

Ok, it was kind of interesting way back in 1977, but the filler footage… Gehhhhhh! Could have been cut to 19 minutes. Oh what the heck, roll it:

Anyway; don’t do magic vs quasi-nazi war machine that way.

Meanwhile Izetta has fine animation, good pacing and at least two, probably more heroic female characters. Heroic guy characters too, although Hime’s guys (so far) keep getting shot. Joker-Game style inscrutable spies and sneering villains. An extra helping 1930’s decor and oak panelling. Frilly costume drama princess gowns for those who might want some. The writers and producers might even be angling for women viewers. The fanservice x ballroom gown ratio in the next couple of episodes should tell how serious they are about this. Did I see a Taka-ish woman Elystadt palace guard officer in the preview clip?

This will make for a fun 12 weeks if they can keep up the pace.


† Assuming a 5cm thick 1 meter iron rod accelerated constantly to a terminal velocity of mach 6, impact energies in the range of 40 – 60 MegaJoules can be anticipated. “For comparison, 50MJ is equivalent to the kinetic energy of a school bus weighing 5 metric tons, travelling at 509 km/h (316 mph).” [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Railgun]
Magical Girls are not to be trifled with.


Normally I loathe student-teacher pairing plots…


I will make an exception because of the absurd level of WTF(!!!) cheesiness that Jitsu Wa Watashi Wa continues to pile on, chapter after chapter…

The small horned creature center background is her grandmother, the demon high school principal, who does not want her grand-daughter, the 29yr old spinster ex-girl-gang leader teacher to …

Awwwwwwww Fuggggetttit… 

Fansplaining’s fanfiction survey

Fansplaining has a survey that will reveal your most intimate fanfiction desires!


With the winding down of Genshiken Nidaime, this blog can revert to its true form; a series of disjointed tracts from a sketchy fundamentalist cult based on vulgar readings of Dr. Saito Tamaki‘s theories on otaku subjectivity and desire. ‘Round these parts, when we ain’t doing snake-handlin’ and speakin’ in tongues (the way of pastor Hopkins), we perform the rituals of libidinised reading and appropriative secondary production; sometimes tarted up for the university heathens as “Transformative works”.crack-fanfaction-gospel-web

The most fearsome of these doin’s ‘o secondary production is to go into a trance and readeth, even maketh fic. As the Genshiken and Tamaki-dono hath decreed, so mote it be, even if it is best motied off-stage and out of view.

What amazing varieties and ways there be to partake in these spiritual exercises! Such love! Such devotion!

Wanna help us do a BIG analysis of fanfiction tropes and themes? Our official survey is live! Please take and share:

The Fansplaining Fic Preferences Survey:

The good folks at Fansplaining have been making and posting interesting podcasts on western fan practice (with a strong emphasis on slashy fandoms) for a while now. Notable is their commitment to posting transcripts of these, usually a week or so after the podcast.

see: http://fansplaining.com/ and http://fansplaining.com/about

c123p9-transactional-webThe Genshiken is all about rude doujin makin. Draw what you know, neh? Kio-gami is a mangaka, not a light novel writer. For those us us who skivved out on drawing classes, scribbling is easier than scratching. Plaisir de texte and all that..


If you have been so bitten by the bug, or are even a bit curious I commend to you the Fansplaining survey; so that you might opine (and gaze in awe!) on their introductory typology of western fic tropes. The survey biases towards slashy narratives, bien sur, because there just ain’t that many dudes writing long grinds about their epic FPS map clearing forays. The absence of sections on machine-generated crapfic and on trollfic are also telling. I am a bit saddened even as the omission is understandable.

That Halo troll-fic machinima ain’t got no schmex might be the most convincing proof of the existence of a merciful deity yet.

Behind my flippant tone is of course a small dumpster full of shame — hey, it’s a guy thing. But the fun of reading or trying one’s own hand at a short “what-if” with your fave charas is more than just a diversion. Nothing short of scanlation encourages such close reading as trying to jam your headcanon onto an existing property. You really, really begin to obsess over minutiae. Even a trash ship (one of those can’t exactly define it but you’ll know it when it sneaks up and bites you on the leg things) demands a serious and very detailed consideration of the original materials. The only risk is having your mind gripped by the unshakeable conviction that the author pulled their lame compromise resolution out of -ahem- the air and that the only possible way it could have gone (if the editors hadn’t spiked it) would have been a beach-front marriage in Hawaii.

Followed by a Saturday afternoon spent shopping for curtains.


113 pages of wooden dialogue between two very hungover idiots trying to wrap their aching heads around their predicament.


Oh my! So many possibilities. This woobie thing; maybe that’s a bit too squick?

Go forth and completeth the survey, and remember: